Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Terroist Gardeners Unite!!!

We have this plot of city owned land right beside the restaurant. The city does nothing in the way of up keep on it. We have to call and complain each time it needs mowed or it will be over grown with weeds and grass. During the hot months when rainy days are far between the grass takes on this attractive dead brown color. So what to do about it? It was/is apparent to us that no one really gives 4 cents about this obscure piece of land so we thought it would be nice to put in a community garden. I tried calling the city a couple times to get the OK but after giving them ample time to call me back, a month or so, I decided to take action on my own and began to build. We put together two 5 foot by 10 foot raised beds and got some good planting dirt donated. It was not more than 30 minutes after the dirt was unloaded that the police showed up. The police!! Apparently someone in our building, someone who's life is so pathetic, so lonely and without meaning, called the police because they wanted to make sure we have all the proper governmental OKs. Now the whole building is talking about our rouge garden. Each day we see the various tenants walk over to the offending plots and shake their heads and then ask us the status of the project.
The status? Well, we're on hold and I received an email today telling me that it will be at least a week before we get an answer. The city has to look into it. What's there to look into? Out of the almost 18,000 people who call Traverse City home I will bet that 17,950 of them don't even know this piece of land even exists. So what is there to look into? What danger could we possibly present? If they were so concerned for public safety they would fix the poor excuse of a sidewalk that passes in front of the building. I don't know how many people we see trip over the cracks on a weekly basis. Perhaps the person in our building so worried about our garden could make the sidewalk their new crusade?
But if truth be told, I like the idea of heading up a rogue gardening project. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new revolutionary moment in our country's history. It's not the terrorist from without we have to be concerned with but the pissed off gardener within. It's not the Islamic extremist that is going to cause problems for us, it's that damned organic gardener who wants to plant her seeds of destruction in a raised bed in Traverse City, MI. Maybe rouge gardeners the world over will unite and start planting tomatoes and green beans and other illegal produce like corn, fave beans, fennel, and for the really angry gardeners out there maybe even chili peppers. Maybe, just maybe we can beat our weapons into plowshares, rakes, and buckets. Now that should scare the hell out of my nosey neighbor. Hey, maybe I'll find myself on the federal governments suspected terrorist list. Now that would be cool.
So to that miserable bastard who called the police, f%$k off. We're planting our garden, and we are going to make our part of Traverse City a much nicer place to be, even with you being here. The only thing we'll have to change is to plant more so we can cover up your self righteousness.


Blogger mindy hawley said...

I really enjoyed this post!!

6/17/2009 10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, what vitriol! I'm all for the idea of gardening these ugly plots, and doing guerrilla gardening if necessary. I just really dislike your tone.

Yeah, neighbors had a knee-jerk, fearful, unreasonable reaction. But the way I see it, by blogging it, you're making yourself their partner in perpetuating uncivil conversations.

6/18/2009 11:23 AM  

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